Marcus Jazzbastard



a man from space wells Xen who was born to a foster family because his mother dropped him off in a nursing home parking lot, and he was raised by the elders with dementia so he was passed around multiple times because everybody kept forgetting who he was every 5 minutes. So then by the time he was 5 all the elders that were raising him became blind and so they would constantly hit him on accident and he was traumatized by this event and had PTSD for the rest of his life, but then one of the elders with a cane hit a spot in his skull that caused a fracture in his brain in a specific way that made him the smartest man on earth. After this he realized that all the elders had dementia and suddenly he had an education. As a 5 year old he stormed out of the nursing home but it turned out he actually had not eaten for 2 weeks so he had to go to a combine occupied mcdonald's and he got a combine mcdouble and it turned out to actually be synthetic and it was made of alien meat. So he broke all his teeth and screamed but realized he was the smartest person on earth which means he is somehow superhuman and the teeth grew back fully developed. As a 5 year old he suddenly matured into a 50 year old man in a matter of minutes.